Navigating Assessments: A Guide for Parents and Children
Preparing your child for an assessment or test can be a time of mixed emotions—for both of you. This guide is designed to help you and your child navigate the process, answer common questions, ease anxieties, and provide you with essential support.
The ultimate goal of the assessment is simple: to "learn about how you learn or process the world." Knowing this helps everyone support your child better:
For Teachers: They learn how to teach your child most effectively.
For Parents: You learn how to support your child's learning at home.
For Your Child: They gain the knowledge to advocate for their own needs.
Section 1: Talking to Your Child About the Assessment
The assessment is a series of engaging, low-pressure activities—not a test with a pass/fail grade.
Talking Points for Your Child
What is an assessment?
"It's a way for your teachers and me to better understand how you learn. It's like a special activity designed to see all the great things you know and what we can do to help you even more."
Why are we doing this?
"We want to find out how your wonderful brain works and make sure you get the best possible help at home and at school. Everyone learns differently, and this helps us figure out the best way for you."
What will it be like?
"It might be an activity, a few questions, or a fun puzzle. It will be in a quiet, comfortable room with a nice person, who is there to help you do your best."
What if I don't know the answer?
"It is okay! The most important thing is to try your best. If you don't know, that's useful information for us, too! It just means we know what we need to teach next. You are not expected to know everything."
Answering Common Worries
For Young Children
Let them know the psychologist is a “different kind of doctor” who helps them learn about their brain. They are not sick and there is nothing wrong with them.
For Older Children
Reassure them that this is a confidential process focused on finding solutions. Emphasize that their input is extremely important to figure out what will be most helpful.
Address your child's specific concerns using these supportive responses:
Worry: "Am I going to fail?"
Response: "There is no 'passing' or 'failing' this. It's just a snapshot of your learning today. It's not a reflection of who you are or how smart you are. You are wonderful and smart no matter what!"
Worry: "Will this take all day?"
Response: "No, it is a scheduled amount of time. The person doing the assessment will tell you exactly how long it is, and you can take breaks if you need to. The assessment will take place on Date at Place."
Worry: "What if I get upset?"
Response: "It's normal to feel worried. If you start to feel upset or overwhelmed, you can tell the person you need a break, or you can take a few deep breaths. We can talk about some calming strategies now."
Worry: "What if I feel tired?’’
Response: "You can take as many breaks as you want and need and if you get really tired we can even stop and try again another day."
Getting Their Input: What They Want to Know
Involving your child by asking for their own questions will make them more invested in the process. Sample Script for Input:
“There are things I’d like to know to help me support you better, but I’m wondering what you’d like to know about how you learn, or why certain things are easy and others are hard? If you can’t think of anything right now, that’s ok. I’ll ask you again tomorrow and we can try to write down a list together.”
Addressing Resistance: What if They Don't Want to Go?
If your child is resistant, it often stems from a feeling that adults don’t understand their struggle. Here are three tips for success:
Tip #1: Use Your Child's Words to Describe the Problem
Focus on the issue as they see it. This assures them you are working to solve their problem, not just yours.
If they say: “Writing is boring” or “My teacher is unfair.”
You can say: “I’ve noticed you really don’t like your math class this year. I’m wondering if there’s a way we could make that class better for you.”
You can say: “I’ve noticed we are in a bad nagging cycle around homework. I know you don’t like it and I don’t like it either. I wonder if there’s a way we can break out of it.”
Tip #2: Talk Over Ice Cream
Choose a relaxed setting to have the conversation. If your child is worried they’ve done something wrong or are in trouble, talking in a non-serious environment will help ease their anxiety.
Good Conversation Settings: Having a bowl of ice cream, taking the dog for a walk, or playing catch.
Tip #3: Let Them Know It’s Not Mandatory
Giving your child a choice often makes them more likely to participate. Forcing them into an assessment when they are resisting can make the results invalid. Letting them choose:
Shows them respect.
Establishes trust.
Gives them choice and control over the situation.
Allows space for them to voice their concerns.
You can offer a "non-committal" first session just to check out the psychologist and the office.
“It makes sense that you do not want to do the assessment, and I will respect your decision if you decide you really do not want to do it. At the same time, I want to make sure you have all the information before you make your final decision. Would you be willing to meet with the psychologist once just to see what it’s all about?”
Section 2: Preparation and The Day Of
Before the Assessment
Review the Materials: Make sure you have received and read all the information
Routines are Key: Ensure your child gets a full night's sleep the night before.
Healthy Start: Give your child a nutritious breakfast on the morning of the assessment. Avoid high-sugar foods that can lead to an energy crash.
On the Day of the Assessment
Stay Calm: Your mood is contagious. Project calm confidence.
Double-Check: Make sure your child has everything they need (e.g., glasses, water bottle, a comfort item)
Arrive Early: Plan to arrive at the assessment location, 1001 Cypress Creek Road, with plenty of time to spare to avoid rushing and anxiety. The assessment is scheduled for____________ .
Section 3: Parent Support and Next Steps
Tips for Parents
Manage Your Own Anxiety: If you are feeling stressed, talk to a friend, partner, or a professional. Your child can pick up on your worry.
Focus on Effort, Not Outcome: After the assessment, ask about the process, not the results. For example: "What was the most interesting part?" or "I am so proud of you for trying your hardest."
Plan a Reward: Schedule a low-key, fun activity for after the assessment to celebrate the effort, regardless of the outcome.
After the Assessment
Listen: Let your child share their experience without leading them with questions.
Wait for the Results: The results will be discussed with you during a feedback meeting scheduled for ________________ .
Next Steps: Once you have the results, work with the school or professional to develop an action plan. This plan will be unique to your child and designed to maximize their learning potential.
The information provided here is educational and for parents considering therapy services. Individual results vary. This content does not constitute a guarantee or promise of outcomes. For guidance specific to your child, consult a licensed psychologist.
